One Wild Ride

It has been a while since my last my last entry. I apologize for the inconsistency; these passed few weeks have been some of the most scary, challenging, and even up-lifting weeks I have ever. There has been family crisis, heartache and fear; however, there was also rejoicing, laughter and peace. It has simply been a roller coaster. And although I am being vague on what exactly has been happening in my life, I can be very specific from what I am learning in the midst of this craziness.

These passed weeks through me into situations that I could not control. Situations that I could not effect the outcome in any way, shape or form. I was reduced to just a mere spectator while my world was collapsing all around me. Helpless. I know those last sentences seem grim, but I just could not grasp the reality that I could do nothing to change what was happening.

I realized that I am not good in situations when I cannot control the outcome. There have been very times in my life when I couldn't somehow, even if just in a small way, effect the outcome. Think about it...for the most part we really can decide the outcome of most of our days. The amount we work and play, what and when we eat, if we smile or frown at strangers as they walk by. So when situations arose that made me feel like I had no say on what was going to happen next I was thrown into a daze.

But even in the darkest of moments, I realized that there was a single truth that shined bright. Even though it felt like I had no authority or control over the various circumstances, God did. God was bigger than the fear, heartache and anxiety that me and my family faced. His plan is perfect and although I didn't necessarily see Him in every moment, I knew He was there.

By the grace of God,the close calls my family and I faced, were just that, close calls. Everyone is OK and life is finally starting to return to normal. I have a thousand reasons to be thankful and I know God's hand has been on me through these past weeks. However, the acknowledgement of God's greatness and authority over any and all situations is a lesson I won't soon forget. There will be hard times, suffering, and heartache but God will be there, present in the midst of it. Come life or death, laughter or tears, God will be there. God is good. God is big and He does not leave us orphaned.

For His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, 'What have You done?' Daniel 4:34-35

Sizing Things Up

God is really big! Really, really big, actually. The greatness and bigness of God has been on my heart a lot lately. In the book of Isaiah the prophet says: "[God] has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand and marked off the heavens with a span" (Is 40:12). Have you stood next to the ocean or stared up at the sky on a starry night lately? They're pretty big, huh? Well, God measures the oceans and heavens by the span of his hand! Things don't really come bigger than God. And in the light of God's greatness the truth of my smallness is revealed.

It is hard for me to fathom these truths. What has been even harder for me is to accept them. If I believe God is really big and that I am really small, then that means that I am not, or at least should not be, at the center of everything. Makes sense, right? Sure it does. My brain and my heart both agree that God is big. He should be first. He is in charge. But, I am beginning to realize that at times my actions suggest otherwise.

You see, I always have a plan. I always have a goal. I am a doer. A fixer. I get things done. I wake up in the morning and ask myself "What do I need to get done today?" This was basically my daily routine, that is, until I came across Job 42:2, where Job acknowledges God by saying, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." It is short and sweet, but boy does this this verse pack a punch.

If God's plan can't be stopped, if God is doing something, and already has a plan, then why do I need one? I realized I should be waking up and asking myself "What is God doing today and how can I get involved?" According to Job, God's plan is perfect. His plan will come to fruition; it is going to happen with our without us. So, I guess that leaves us with a new question, doesn't it?

What happens when our plans don't match up with God's plan?

This is where things can get tough. We have two choices: we can trust in God and His perfect plan or we can decide to "play god" ourselves and do what we think is best. The Book of Jeremiah explains to us that God does have a plan for us. God says that He knows "the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jer 29:11). Now, I am not saying that it is easy to surrender to God's will, plan or timing. No way. But we can find consolation when we turn to God's word. God is God. He is in control. Today, pray with me for the strength and grace to join ourselves to God's plan.

"Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and you are exalted as head above all." 1 Chronicles 29:11

Reflection

I had a couple rough drafts for this week's blog, but at the end of the day they just didn't match up to how Jesus would say it. So, I decided to let him do it.

Reflect. Contemplate. Enjoy.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Whoever loves me will keep my word,
and my Father will love him,
and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him.
Whoever does not love me does not keep my words;
yet the word you hear is not mine
but that of the Father who sent me.

“I have told you this while I am with you.
The Advocate, the Holy Spirit,
whom the Father will send in my name,
will teach you everything
and remind you of all that I told you.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
You heard me tell you,
‘I am going away and I will come back to you.’
If you loved me,
you would rejoice that I am going to the Father;
for the Father is greater than I.
And now I have told you this before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe.” (Jn 14:23-29)