It has been a while since my last my last entry. I apologize for the inconsistency; these passed few weeks have been some of the most scary, challenging, and even up-lifting weeks I have ever. There has been family crisis, heartache and fear; however, there was also rejoicing, laughter and peace. It has simply been a roller coaster. And although I am being vague on what exactly has been happening in my life, I can be very specific from what I am learning in the midst of this craziness.
These passed weeks through me into situations that I could not control. Situations that I could not effect the outcome in any way, shape or form. I was reduced to just a mere spectator while my world was collapsing all around me. Helpless. I know those last sentences seem grim, but I just could not grasp the reality that I could do nothing to change what was happening.
I realized that I am not good in situations when I cannot control the outcome. There have been very times in my life when I couldn't somehow, even if just in a small way, effect the outcome. Think about it...for the most part we really can decide the outcome of most of our days. The amount we work and play, what and when we eat, if we smile or frown at strangers as they walk by. So when situations arose that made me feel like I had no say on what was going to happen next I was thrown into a daze.
But even in the darkest of moments, I realized that there was a single truth that shined bright. Even though it felt like I had no authority or control over the various circumstances, God did. God was bigger than the fear, heartache and anxiety that me and my family faced. His plan is perfect and although I didn't necessarily see Him in every moment, I knew He was there.
By the grace of God,the close calls my family and I faced, were just that, close calls. Everyone is OK and life is finally starting to return to normal. I have a thousand reasons to be thankful and I know God's hand has been on me through these past weeks. However, the acknowledgement of God's greatness and authority over any and all situations is a lesson I won't soon forget. There will be hard times, suffering, and heartache but God will be there, present in the midst of it. Come life or death, laughter or tears, God will be there. God is good. God is big and He does not leave us orphaned.
For His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, 'What have You done?' Daniel 4:34-35
